A Surprising Parable: How Compassionate Deception Can Lead to Truth

Introduction: The Paradox of a Perfect Teacher

The Buddha’s Puzzling Strategy

What makes a truly compassionate teacher? Our first instinct might be to say it’s someone who tells us the unvarnished truth, directly and immediately. We often believe the quickest path to growth is a straight line. But what if the most loving and effective guidance doesn’t demand immediate change? What if it first meets us exactly where we are, even if that place is far from the ultimate goal?

This is the central paradox explored in some Buddhist teachings. The idea is that the most profound path to a difficult truth might not be a direct one. It introduces the concept of “expedient teachings”—a surprising but deeply compassionate method for guiding us from our limited understanding toward our fullest potential.

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1. The Parable of the Drinking Son: Meeting Us Where We Are

This principle is captured in a powerful parable from a treatise by the 13th-century Buddhist scholar Nichiren. He asks us to imagine parents who dislike alcohol but have a son who loves to drink liquor. Because of their deep love for him, and to connect with him on his own terms, they pretend to be drinkers themselves, even offering him alcohol. Seeing this, the son assumes his parents share his love for liquor.

This story serves as a metaphor for a teaching that first caters to our existing habits and whims. Instead of demanding that we immediately abandon our attachments, this approach begins by understanding and accommodating them. The wisdom here is profound: immediate correction can create resistance and alienation, but meeting someone in their world, even in their flaws, builds a foundation of trust. This trust is the fertile ground upon which true growth can eventually take root. It suggests that the deepest compassion lies not in enforcing a rigid truth, but in creating the relational safety for that truth to be willingly received.

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2. Expedient Means vs. The True Mind: The Two Paths of Teaching

In his treatise, Nichiren uses this parable to highlight a core distinction in the Buddha’s method: his initial “expedient teachings” versus his “own way of thinking.” The Buddha recognized the profound difficulty of changing our ingrained habits and beliefs. Therefore, his initial teachings began by catering to our most immediate and understandable impulses—our “selfish desires to be happy and end our own suffering.”

This was not a compromise but a deliberate and strategic act of compassion. There is a deep psychological astuteness in this graduated approach. Rather than condemning self-interest as a moral failing, this method skillfully leverages it as a powerful, universal motivator. By providing an accessible starting point that addresses our personal pain, the teachings offer immediate, relatable value. This engagement builds the confidence and stability necessary to undertake a more demanding spiritual journey, gently leading people toward a deeper truth they might have initially rejected.

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3. The Ultimate Goal: From Personal Peace to Universal Purpose

If the initial teachings focus on ending our own suffering, what is the final objective? This is not a sudden bait-and-switch but the culmination of the entire process. The initial, self-focused teachings are what build the trust and inner strength necessary for a person to eventually be strong enough to “stand up to our fears.” The ultimate goal is not merely to find personal peace, but to help us “realize our full potential for wisdom and compassion.”

This path leads us to awaken to our “true nature” as Bodhisattvas.

For us to realize our full potential for wisdom and compassion, we must stand up to our fears and nourish our true nature as Bodhisattvas: beings who exist to create benefits for the entire universe.

This reveals a profound shift in perspective, a leap from a therapeutic model of spirituality to an existential one. The journey begins with the desire to heal the self, but it culminates in the realization that our purpose is to benefit all existence. This requires confronting our ultimate fear: the dissolution of a purely personal, ego-driven identity. To become a Bodhisattva is to understand that the self we worked so hard to comfort was merely the vessel for a much larger, universal purpose.

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Conclusion: Are You Ready for the Real Truth?

The journey from an expedient truth to an ultimate one is a testament to compassionate and patient guidance. It begins by honoring our familiar world of personal desires and fears, using them not as obstacles but as the very starting line. From there, it skillfully guides us toward the revelation of our true potential as beings dedicated to a universal cause.

The path begins by honoring our ‘selfish’ needs. The question, then, isn’t whether we are selfish, but whether we are brave enough to see where that path ultimately leads.

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